This new post has been written by My best friend to answer
Stephanie's blog:postcard_from_heaven_on_earth.typepad.com . I guessed it opened a "vrai" debate. this debate seemed to become deep to Ma meilleure amie's heart ( Merci Stephanie:) It is funny at the beginning, she was all hesitant and a la fin, she couldn't stop!!! C est Genial...
It is a really interesting post and more serious than i could be! I am too much French and maybe she is too English! that's why maybe we are "compatibles''
Enjoy and do me a favor, it is her first post ( so send her some comments, s il vous plait! )
MAIS SHUT!.....don't tell her that i wrote it:)
Hi Stephanie, i think u may well have opened up a fun debate ..well for the women of the blogs world at least. The men may run a mile!!! truth hurts right guys???!
Frenchieee is my best friend so i can safely say that she wasn't solely referring to the sexual aspects of relationships...u are right sex is only 1 aspect and perhaps not the most important but BOY if it aint there it aint worth continuing. For a relationship to work and be solid u need intellectual stimulation and physical, there are no questions there...
I think Frenchieee on behalf of all of us females is trying to figure these "Menschs" out. Why are they so confusing?! i mean they sit and complain that we are "naggers", that we are too demanding, but at the end of the day at we tell it how it is! we have a problem, we have issues we just come out and say it! men listen and want to move on without finding solution. As my friend says they are simple POULES MOUILLEES!!!
On a more serious note I think u bring up a super important point...we sound like SHRINKS!!! we women must like ourselves. it is hard! i am the first to admit it. I am more of the world of giving to others before taking care of myself. BUT with age and experience (am in a relationship!!! so i know!) you really do have to take a step back and ensure you get what you need. Your philosophy of women needing to believe in themselves and in their needs to better control their relationships is a great point and a must for a healthy relationship. Why should the men be the assertive ones!! oh by the way i am not a FEMINIST.Download odyssey_native_new_yorker.mp3
My man waits for problems work out themselves. And when it comes to the problems with me I am the one to solve them. He is just watching.
Posted by: Andy | March 18, 2006 at 04:57 AM
Some of the men I know like to defer decisions. Some wait for problems to work themselves out. Women tend to prefer to make decisions quickly. We want problems to be worked on until they are solved. Atleast, this is true about me. In general, I find that I sometimes set myself up for disappointment because I try to solve some "problems" when they aren't really problems at all. In fact, before I was even divorced I started to solve the problem of getting married again. I know that sounds ridiculous. I guess I just couldn't see myself single. Fact is, now that I am single, I like it that way. You don't have to get married to have a satisfying relationship. One piece of advice my father gave me that I believe should be taken literally is this: Marriage is for having babies.
Women in general tend to fantasize a relationship into being something that they want it to be. We have the heart to believe that everything can work out in the way we think would be best. But life isn't this way. So it's better to let life play itself out. Perhaps men know this. Maybe that is why that aren't willing to jump into the problem solving we sometimes try to involve them in. They are more willing to sit back and see how things work out.
I haven't checked out the link you included yet but I will. I do believe women should be assertive. I hope my comments didn't imply I thought women should sit back and just wait for the right man to come along. Patience is required, but that doesn't mean we don't have to do anything about it. Jesus said Knock and the door shall be answered, Seek and you shall find. He wasn't just talking about the door the some invisible place called Heaven. He was talking about what matters most here on earth: relationships. Good luck to you and Frenchieee. Write again. I'm really looking forward to her post "meet the parents". And what is the guy of hers like anyway?
Posted by: Stephanie | January 12, 2006 at 06:57 PM